HOT HOT H.E.A.T

Today me, Danniel and Helen emptied Dad's flat. He didn't have much but still it was a couple of hours job to do it. It's sad and it gets so real when you throw the clothes away. Actually we didn't throw them away because most of them were hardly used so we donated to "Myrorna" (Salvation army) to people who need them more. I had bought a sandwichcake and afterwards we went to Mom and had lunch and ate the cake. It was very good and we had such a nice time. Today Mom was calmer and could talk better. We went down memory lane and we had so many laughs. We also put up some of the paintings, that Dad have, in her room and she was happy for that. I had also printed out (on real photopaper) some photos from the funeral. To end it all we celebrated Mother's Day. It's tomorrow but we did it today already. I had bought a set of trousers and a t-shirt to go with them saying: World's best Mom in silver and pink. Everything else was black. She really liked t...

Today we had the funeral for Olle and it was wonderful. How can I say that? First of all we had a wonderful priest, Eva, who made the whole ceremony easier for all of us remembering us that our lives is a travel, and Olle loved to travel, and also that he now is free from his pain and in peace with a higher power. Also the songs we had choosen were perfect but oh so sad. I don't know but sometimes the texts in the songs or psalms means so much more than the words. The goodbye at the coffin was, of course, tearful but also very sad. My Mom was in her wheelchair and wanted to stand up which we helped her do but then she never wanted to sit down and go away. We are not sure how much she knew of what was happening. As you know she has Alzheimers and today was very bad. This was mostly due to the "färdtjänst" that despite we had ordered well in time came 45 minutes late and she almost missed the funeral of her husband since 52 years. Shame on the "färdtjänst" and I w...

Yesterday me and Hasse went on a trip on Göta kanal with the Rheumatic association. The weather forecast had predicted rain and generally bad weather. We started out from 4 different places since we are so scattered. The first ones were picked up at 5.15AM!! We boarded the bus in Upplands Väsby at 6 AM. After the last ones had boarded the bus we started our trip to Bergs slussar where we were to board the ship. It was surprising how fast I slipped into the role of tourleader again. I haven't been tourleader since 1993 but as I said it came to me faster than you would have thought. Why did I do this you may ask? Well, no one took the responsibility and since we only had the chauffeur (the most important person of the bus) and he was no guide or tourleader someone had to do it. I had prepared a quiz about Sweden. It consisted of 18 questions and no alternative was given. It's more of a challenge that way. I divided them into groups of two as a team to solve this and that was an...

Since last time I wrote I have been to see my friend Anne in Norrtälje. Very nice as usual with lots of chat, laughter and of course good food. On Saturday I attended the premiere of Spader Dam (Queen of Spades) by Tjajkovskij. A wonderful opera and very modern since it's about a man that gets addicted to gamling so much that he loses the love of his life and finally commits suicide. The leading man wasn't that good because most of the time the music overplayed his voice. It wasn't strong enough to reach out. The music and the orchestra on the other hand was magnificent. I didn't come home until 11.45 PM just in time to see Sweden ending up in 22 place (worst in I don't know how many years) in Eurovision song contest. No, we would have been better off if we had sent H.E.A.T to the Eurovision I think. Monday was Hasse's namesday, Erik, and as a gift from me he received a trip to Tällberg with overnight stay in a suite with full board, tickets for Dalhalla to see...

It's already Wednesday and almost a week since Olle died. Time has gone so fast and yet so slow. Does that make sense? There are a lot of things, practical ones, that needs to be done. Like trying to reach everyone that needs to know. That has taken me three days. You can't just call and say hi, my Dad died last week. Some of them are relatives I haven't talked to in a long time and relatives that we often just meet at funerals (or marriages but they are more rare). So each and every call are at first sad but then you get an update on what has happened since last time, so the calls tend to me hourlong ones. I also went to the morticioners on Monday and arranged everything about the funeral. On Sunday Helen was here and I had prepared what to have at the funeral. Nowadays you can go online and choose everything from coffin to flowers to music and add. So we did just that. We also called Mom so she could choose, over the phone, flowers and message she wants to have at the fu...

Tonight Olle, my adoptive father that has been like my father almost all my life, died just before 9PM. It was very quick. I talked to the nurse at 6PM and everything was calm then. Just a bit over 2 hours later she called and said he's gotten worse. I asked how and she said his skin changed colour and that he could have 10 minutes or 10 hours left. I was just trying to get to my sister on the phone and ask her if we should go down when the phone rang again just 15 minutes afterwards and it was the nurse telling me that it was over. He went very peacefully and in his sleep. At the end he was given a lot of morphine so he wouldn't be in pain, which he wasn't. I called my sister but we both felt that we already had said our goodbyes and therefore didn't go down to say a last goodbye. He is probably up there somewhere looking down and sensing our feelings. We haven't been able to reach our mother yet and we probably won't tonight so I will tell her when I go there ...

Yes, I'm going on a conference cruise with Cinderella together with the Rheumatic association. I hope it isn't too windy. We will meet with the Aland rheumatic association tomorrow to compare notes. After that a guided tour around Mariehamn something I did myself for almost 10 years as a tourleader but I haven't been to the mainland of Aland in many years so it should be fun. Something that is very sad is that Olle is in Intensive care with no hope. The doctor called me today while I was on my way down to see him before I go on the conference. The doctor said there is no hope now and that I should call relatives if they wanted to see him. So I have said my goodbyes and my sister and mother is on the way down now. He was so small, he had like shrunk the last few days and it was very hard to hear what he had to say. He told me to be nice and take care of mother and that my sister and I should stick together and be as close as we are now. He also told me to say hi to my sons a...

I have been neglecting my blog, I know but sometimes you really need to just do things without writing them down and sometimes you need to write everything down. Does that make sense? Anyway since last I wrote I have been to see my very good friend Anne in Norrtälje to get treatment and also our usual wonderful lunch at Ett glas and of course as usual Chantarellesoup. If you ever go there be sure to take it because it's something extra. Anne and I also talks about everything and nothing and it's so nice to be with her because you don't have to pretend or be someone else or put up a mask. You can just be yourself and I know she thinks the same. In life we show off different sides of us depending on where you are. At work you show one side of you, the professional side and just a little bit of your private (that is in general but you can have very good friends there too with whom you share more), with your family you are yourself (hopefully), with your friends another side b...