Gaining weight, cleaning and dreaming of LA

I woke up at 5.50 AM this morning and I have no idea why :-) Maybe it was the beautiful sunshine and the blue sky. It's not like me but and I don't need it either since I'm still out of work. But I got up and went ahead and made breakfast for me and Hasse. A very good one I might add. We have a habit now since I became unemployed and that is we eat breakfast for an hour or more, chatting, reading the newspaper and eating in a calm mood. This is the way to start the day!

But I'm so angry because I have gained so much weight since last year which I discovered today when I cleaned my wardrobes. I had to throw away a lot of clothes and this makes me so sad and so angry. I'm not the one that talks about weight, mine or others because that is not important to me. The important about a fellowhuman is the inside and the heart. The first thing I notice about a person is his or her eyes. Then I see the rest, but if the eyes are kind and friendly the chance is that the person is a warm and lovingly person.
Anyway, now it has gone to the extreme I think and I can't figure out why. My doctor says it's because my body is set on war. There is too much going on around me. I'm out of work, bad economy (which I have never had before), my disease isn't good right now and there is some other issues which I don't want to talk about here.
All this adds up to my body thinking it's danger and needs to contain every thing I put in. I have stopped eating candy alltogether, I eat the same kind of food as I always do and eat less than most people, I have one evening when I allow myself to treat like cheese doodles, I don't drink sodas at all just water. And I keep myself busy in every way except exercise which I'm not able to do right now because of too much pain.

My sister wearing a great t-shirt :-)

( I hope you don't mind me posting this photo Jo. I think it's great!)

Me in Santa Monica

I think the best thing would be to go to my sister in Los Angeles for a month or so to rehabilitate me. With walks, calm and none of the demands I have at home. But it's that small business of money of course ;-)
I also would like to go to Barcelona and see H.E.A.T, the Poodles and Treat perform but once again there is money issues. It would be nice though to be able to meet my other sister who I have never met and also my nieces who I'm friend with on Facebook but never have met. My son, Jonas, have last time he was touring Europe and came to Barcelona!! So it's time for me to meet them too I think :-)

Barcelona

Oh my God

The Christmas smorgasbord I just realized I haven't written anything since November 23! But I can tell you I haven't been lazy but there has been so much going on that I haven't had the strength to write. I had meetings that week and I was supposed to be at a conference hotel for lunch that Friday but I was to tired I had to cancel it. So instead I baked safron buns (!) and made chocolate troufles with ginger. The ferry On December 1 it was Staffan's birthday (Hasse's oldest son) and I worked and worked at my job. Thursday I and Hasse were supposed to go to the theatre and see Come again Charlie, which was one of my birthday presents - thank you Pär and Brita. But Hasse wasn't feeling well so instead I asked Linnea, my bonus grand daughter if she wanted to go and she was very happy that I asked. We had a really good time and the play, which was a comedy, was funny but also with a message which made you laugh and then stop. It was about the si...

Läs mer

Sad day

Tonight Olle, my adoptive father that has been like my father almost all my life, died just before 9PM. It was very quick. I talked to the nurse at 6PM and everything was calm then. Just a bit over 2 hours later she called and said he's gotten worse. I asked how and she said his skin changed colour and that he could have 10 minutes or 10 hours left. I was just trying to get to my sister on the phone and ask her if we should go down when the phone rang again just 15 minutes afterwards and it was the nurse telling me that it was over. He went very peacefully and in his sleep. At the end he was given a lot of morphine so he wouldn't be in pain, which he wasn't. I called my sister but we both felt that we already had said our goodbyes and therefore didn't go down to say a last goodbye. He is probably up there somewhere looking down and sensing our feelings. We haven't been able to reach our mother yet and we probably won't tonight so I will tell her when I go there ...

Läs mer

Anyone??

I wonder if anyone can see and read my blogg? I haven't had any comments in so long that's why I ask. Erik didn't win a Grammy last night but he had a blast and he and his fiancé looked just great! Another Swede, Ludwig Göransson, won 3 prices though. Congrats to him.

Läs mer

HOT HOT H.E.A.T

Leta i den här bloggen